Mitron!! A warm welcome in the name of our Lord and Saviour Narendra Modi! The supreme Lord could not be here so I’m filling in for him today.
A warm and awkward bear hug to everyone joining us for the first time. What took you so long brothers?
And to our regulars, the ones who are returning. Of course, you are here, where would you go? Once a Bhakt, always a Bhakt.
So once again I welcome you all. Here, to the Right Club.
As the name suggests, and because it is the right way, we do everything at the Club the right way.
We eat with our right hand, the right food of this great nation, vegetarian. Our plates also lean slightly to the right, so make sure the Sabji is on the left Mitron!
The nation has propounded this way of life for millions of centuries. Yes, that’s right. Millions of centuries. Do not go by the fables of history that the opposite wing has been imposing on us. We are a grand old, old, ancient nation.
Our Indian men drive on the right side of the road. Our nationalist boxers deliver right handed punches. All our cricket captains have been right handed too! Except for Ganguly, but then, he is after all from West Bangladesh, I mean West Bengal.
We live in difficult times Mitron, difficult times! This is the age of isms and ists. The prodigal South has leaned far left and away from us! Beefeaters brethren! And I don’t mean the beautiful London Gin. Our dark Southern brothers and sisters have strayed away like cattle and are now feasting on that cattle itself!
Sniff. Sob. Sob. Sniff.
A new ism every day, a new ist every night. Communism, Feminism, Ramuism, Pawanism. Humanist, Realist, Secularist, Socialist, even Minimalist! It’s heart-breaking brothers, heart-breaking!
You know there’s only one ism that matters. One ist that we all should be! It’s of the nation!
He takes a glass of water to calm his nerves down. And resumes.
Anyway, we come to the agenda for today’s meeting. As you know these are festive times for our motherland. In a few days, we not only celebrate Shri Vajpayee’s birthday, but also that festival of festivals, Good Governance Day on the 25th of December. This is a special day and it rightfully should be celebrated for only these reasons and nothing else.
I see the twinkle in your eyes as we embark on the celebrations for this momentous day.
But alas, the red gang is also gearing up! No, not the Sickle Log. It’s the other red gang. The foreign gang. They are disrupting our peaceful sleep with their cacophony. Songs in a foreign language. Extolling a foreign God. Singing praises for a foreign character!
Sniff. Sob. Sob. Sniff.
Santa, they call it. Santa? Who is this Santa?
This is Satna! Satna, not Santa! Come on, Mitron!
THIS IS SATNA! Tear away those shirts! Show me those 56” chests. Shout with me!
THIS IS SATNA!
After the mob quietens.
It gives me immense pleasure, no, it gives me just the right amount of pleasure to announce our Karyakartha for the day. I have been following the exploits of this brilliant young man for some time now. His social media presence is as saffron as it gets. Bravo! Now it’s time for a field exercise!
Come on up young man, Dharmedra Dohar!
Thunderous applause.
Where are you coming young man? That way, right, right side! We have no stairs on the left!
More thunderous applause.
Tonight, he has been selected to lodge a police complaint against the anti-nationals that disrupt our sleep. We will leave the khakis to do the rest.
Dharmedra, my boy! So proud of you! Your name even resembles that of our Supreme Leader!
Right-o then! This marks the end of our session! One last time Mitron!
THIS IS SATNA!
Write Club Hyderabad – January 2018 – Reality fiction based on the below article.
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